Once upon a time I had a wonderful friend named Kim. As with many of my adult friendships ours started as friendly co-workers. Both of whom loved to travel. Kim had seen a large bit of the U.S. while driving cross country for a previous job. I’d seen a small bit of Europe and the U.S. by this point. I left for another job but we stayed in touch. Fast forward, we (and occasionally our co-worker-to-friend Kelly) started seeing some of what was out there to see. Our trips included Bermuda, Las Vegas, Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Atlantic City, New York City, the U.K. and even Cuba.
Unfortunately I allowed miscommunication, depression, and life come between Kim and I. And if I’m honest with myself, Kelly and I as well. Although at the time I would have said it was to save her from being in an awkward position between Kim and I. Now I know and have a better understanding of how depression and even general sadness can be isolating.
If you haven’t already figured it out my dear friend pasted a few years ago. I miss her and think of her often. I’m unsure if the extra hurt comes from some residual guilt that I didn’t figure my shit out in time to be there for her, to show her I cared, and still do. She’s not the first loved one to pass but my first close (even if past tense) friend to move on to what’s next. Life is balance, you gain and you lose. I understand, I also understand people can live on through legacy. As a friend of Kim’s I claim my right to spread what I consider her legacy. So I’m going to tell you a little about my friend Kim.
Kim never allowed me to post pictures with her in them. She never wanted to be on social media. Her right, so I honored it. She passed a few years ago and with only one exception I’ve continued to honor her request. And here’s the “whoever”, I think she would want to be remembered and known more than concerned with her appearance now.
Kim moved like lightning. Faster than she should have probably. She was slightly accident prone, but was always moving. Her smoke brakes at work rarely included a full cigarette. She liked her coffee so hot I swear she could drink it from machine and skip the mug. She fell off a ladder at work the week before she retired. She got a little banged up but in true Kim form she carried on. Like most cat parents she loved her cat beyond reason. She seemed to collect friends cautiously, but once approved she was always there to help however she could. She drove the moving truck for me once when I was moving. My grandparents loved her, and she, them. She hated with I cracked my joints and when I had a few too many and called her “Kimmy-Kins”. She loved playing slots, cussed infrequently, drank pretty much never, and was a better driver than passenger.
She was also obsessed with her GPS. If she drove around the neighborhood I bet that thing was on. In the U.K. I told her it was like a 3rd member of the trip and I was the odd man out. This was the same trip Kim was driving and took an entrance to a roundabout as an exit. To correct this mistake (now driving the wrong way on a one way street) Kim pops the car on to the curb to stop. She then consults the GPS, and proceeds to ask me if anyone is coming from my direction. My response “you mean like another dumb group of tourists going the wrong way?” I was a crap passenger too on that trip. We each kept fussing at each other about how “close” we were to the small stone walls that seemed to be on the side of every road in the country. We’d each grab the door and shout “WALL!” I wanted to listen to Irish pub tunes and she wanted to listen to Enya. We had fun.
Scotland was her idea, she’d apparently always wanted to go. I’ve thought to myself many times how grateful I am that we took the opportunity and went. She allowed me to take pictures of her on that trip. Possibly because I’d honored the no social media mandate. But I also hope because she realized she was pretty awesome and it wouldn’t be so bad to expose some of that awesomeness with the online world.
If you’ve made it all the way through this, thank you. I ask one more thing in honor of Kim. Go into the world (real and online) and be as awesome as Kim. Work hard for what you want, be selective with who you call friend, treat the friends you have with love and respect, be patient with others, and spread some awesomeness with the rest of humanity.
And here are some pics where Kim is my “Where’s Waldo”. I truly think she’d be ok with me posting these.
